"Have You Tried...?" Thoughts and Theories About Unsolicited Medical Advice

Those of us who are open about our illnesses and disabilities are all too familiar with the unsolicited, annoying, and often bizarre medical advice that healthy/able bodied people love to pelt us with. I have been lucky enough to avoid the brunt of it, that is until my coworker asked about my TENS unit at work the other day. The exhausting exchange that occurred immediately after served as an unfortunate catalyst to a helpful theory. I've seen this mentioned in passing before in my experiences and exchanges within the chronic illness community, but I would like to add to an elaborate on it myself.

**Disclaimer: Everything below this point is not fact, but rather my opinions based off of my unique experiences. You don't have to agree with everything or anything in this post. These are just my personal thoughts.**

The majority of the people who shove "cures" down our throats are usually between the ages of 16-50 ish (older adults tend to just brush us off claiming that we're "too young" or what have you). The reason that it's older adolescents to middle aged people that make these suggestions, is due to the thought that only old people get sick. People have a tendency to assume that so long as they don't eat a diet full of unhealthy foods, don't spend all of their time completely sedentary, don't smoke or drink, and don't abuse hard drugs, that they're going to be perfectly healthy until they're 70 years old. When an older family member or friend starts to experience things like joint pain or fatigue, we just brush it off as symptoms of old age.

We naturally assume that unless you are born obviously sick, are in some horrendous accident, or are considered elderly, that you're going to be relatively healthy. Most people don't realise how much their subconscious clings to that theory. When someone sees a young adult to middle aged person who is sick, it doesn't fit their narrative. They assume that if you maintain a semi-healthy lifestyle, you won't get sick; non-elderly folks who are chronically ill don't fit that mold. It scares people to see living, breathing proof that they aren't as safe as they thought.

They assume that we are sick because we aren't trying hard enough. Have you gone vegan? You should try yoga! You just need a juice cleanse! They want there to be an explanation as to why we are sick at such a young age. If they accept that we have tried everything we can, that there's nothing we could have done or avoided to prevent this; if they accept that we're sick because we're just sick, then they are no longer safe. This means that they don't have another 20 guaranteed years of being healthy until they're an arthritic grandmother. This means that they can fall ill at the drop of a hat.

Nobody wants to get sick. It's uncomfortable, time consuming, expensive, and often times isolating. Healthy people cling to the imagined fact that so long as they eat clean, do yoga, and do a juice cleanse once a month that they won't get sick. They tell EDS patients to try yoga, dysautonomia patients to try a detox sauna, gastroparesis patients to eat more fiber, EB patients to bathe in coconut oil. They want to believe that there is something that we aren't doing that can cure our diseases, because they want to believe that if they do it too then they won't get sick like us.

I recently explained one of my conditions to a coworker, who responded with a slew of supposed cures. She started with going vegan, which I've already done. She jumped to yoga, and I told her that it focuses on joint flexibility which is my problem - meaning it will make me worse. She mentioned some pyramid scheme supplement protocol, and I told her that there is no herb I can pump my body full of that can change my DNA. Her final suggestion was meditation, and while it's a lovely stress reliever, it still won't fix the root of the problem. She couldn't accept that my issues are rooted in my DNA, that my body is incapable of producing functional collagen. That it can't synthesize it correctly, so even if I supplemented it with a collagen heavy diet it won't change a thing. The fact that I was fairly healthy for most of my life, and then out of the blue my body just stopped functioning at 19? The reality that I went from walking 10+ miles each day to needing a wheelchair when I went out in less than 3 months? It's too much. It's too scary. So she tells me to go vegan. Because if a vegan diet can cure me, it can keep her from getting sick in the first place.